Recognizing Your Blind Spots

Everyone has blind spots: areas of weakness, patterns of behavior, or impacts on others that we genuinely cannot see about ourselves. It's not that we're hiding from them. We literally don't know they're there. That's what makes them dangerous. You can't address what you don't know exists, and blind spots often cause the most damage in relationships and life.

The good news is that while you can't see your own blind spots, others can. The path to awareness runs through the eyes of people who know you well and will tell you the truth.

Common Male Blind Spots

• Impact of tone: Not realizing how you come across when stressed
• Emotional unavailability: Thinking you're present when you're checked out
• Listening failures: Believing you listen well when you don't
• Control tendencies: Seeing yourself as helpful when others feel managed
• Defensiveness: Not seeing how quickly you shut down feedback

The man who says "I don't have any blind spots" has just revealed his biggest one. Self-awareness isn't thinking you see everything clearly. It's knowing you don't and staying curious about what you're missing.

How to Discover Blind Spots

Ask directly: "What do I do that I don't seem to realize I'm doing?"

Listen to patterns: If you hear the same feedback repeatedly, it's probably true.

Watch reactions: How do people respond to you? Their reactions tell a story.

Get assessment: Objective tools reveal what subjective self-evaluation misses.

Stay curious: Approach feedback with "tell me more" not "that's not true."

Your Action Steps

This week: Ask someone who knows you well: "What's something about me that I don't seem to see?"

This month: Listen without defending. Just receive the feedback.

This quarter: Work on one blind spot that's been identified.