When You Feel Numb

Some men report feeling numb, disconnected from their own emotions. Things that should make them happy don't. Things that should make them sad don't either. Life feels flat, gray, going through the motions. This emotional numbness isn't strength or stoicism. It's often a sign that something has shut down.

Numbness usually starts as protection. When emotions become too painful or overwhelming, the mind shuts them down. The problem is, you can't selectively numb. When you numb the hard emotions, you numb the good ones too.

Signs of Emotional Numbness

• Difficulty feeling joy, even at things you used to enjoy
• Disconnection from loved ones, feeling distant
• Going through the motions without engagement
• Difficulty crying or feeling sadness
• Feeling like you're watching life from outside yourself
• Loss of interest in things that used to matter

Numbness feels like nothing, but it's actually something. It's a signal that emotions have been shut down, usually because at some point they became too much to handle. The solution isn't more numbing; it's carefully learning to feel again.

Common Causes

Trauma: Overwhelming experiences that caused emotional shutdown.

Prolonged stress: Chronic stress that depletes emotional resources.

Depression: One symptom is emotional flattening.

Suppression: Years of pushing down emotions until the habit becomes automatic.

Burnout: Complete depletion of emotional energy.

Moving Toward Feeling

Recovery from numbness is usually gradual. Start small. Notice physical sensations. Name any feelings that surface, however faint. Stop numbing behaviors like excessive alcohol, screens, or work. Consider professional help if numbness is persistent. The goal isn't to be overwhelmed by emotion but to be able to feel appropriate things appropriately.

Your Action Steps

This week: Notice where you feel numb. What areas of life lack emotional engagement?

This month: Reduce one numbing behavior. See what surfaces.

This quarter: If numbness persists, talk to a counselor about what might be underneath.