Recognizing Pride

Pride is tricky because it's often invisible to the person who has it. You can't see your own arrogance. You don't notice when you're being condescending. The very nature of pride is that it blinds you to itself. That's why it's so destructive; it prevents the self-awareness needed to address it.

Pride isn't just thinking too highly of yourself. It's also thinking of yourself too often. It's making everything about you. It's the inability to receive feedback, admit weakness, or acknowledge that you might be wrong.

How Pride Shows Up

• Difficulty admitting when you're wrong
• Defensive reactions to feedback
• Need to be the smartest person in the room
• Dismissing others' opinions or ideas
• Difficulty apologizing sincerely
• Comparing yourself to others constantly
• Taking credit but not blame
• Inability to celebrate others' success

Pride often masquerades as confidence, competence, or being right. But confidence doesn't need to diminish others. Competence can acknowledge limitations. Being right doesn't require being arrogant about it.

Pride in Marriage

Pride destroys marriages. The man who can't admit he's wrong will never repair conflict well. The man who dismisses his wife's perspective will never truly know her. The man who needs to win every argument will lose his marriage trying.

Your wife sees your pride even when you don't. If she's told you you're arrogant, condescending, or dismissive, take it seriously. She's not attacking you; she's telling you something important.

The Alternative: Humility

Humility isn't weakness: It's strength under control. It's confidence that doesn't need to prove itself.

Humility admits wrong: Quickly, clearly, without excuses or minimizing.

Humility receives feedback: As a gift, not an attack. Curious about blind spots, not defensive.

Humility lifts others: Celebrates success, shares credit, asks questions, listens more than talks.

Your Action Steps

This week: Ask your wife where she sees pride in you. Don't defend. Just listen and thank her for honesty.

This month: When you're wrong, admit it quickly and clearly. Practice the words "I was wrong."

This quarter: When you receive feedback, pause before responding. Ask yourself: "What if they're right?"