The Gift of Presence

You can be in the room without being present. You can sit next to your wife while your mind is at work. You can be at your kid's game while scrolling your phone. Physical proximity without mental and emotional engagement isn't presence. It's just being nearby.

True presence is attention fully given. It's being where you are, not just occupying space while your mind is elsewhere. It's one of the greatest gifts you can give to the people you love, and it's increasingly rare in a distracted world.

What Steals Presence

• Phones: The most common thief of attention
• Work thoughts: Mind still processing the day
• Screens: TV, computers, tablets dividing attention
• Worry: Mental energy consumed by anxiety
• Fatigue: Too depleted to engage

Your wife knows when you're not really there. Your kids know when you're half-listening. They can tell the difference between presence and proximity. And the difference matters to them.

What Presence Looks Like

Eye contact: Looking at the person, not past them.

Phone away: Not just face down. Away. Not competing for attention.

Active listening: Engaged, asking questions, tracking with the conversation.

Emotional attunement: Noticing how they're feeling, responding to it.

Being interruptible: Willing to stop what you're doing when needed.

Building Presence

Create phone-free zones: Meals, bedtimes, date nights. Phone doesn't come.

Transition intentionally: Before entering home, shift from work mode to family mode.

Practice attention: Notice when your mind wanders. Bring it back.

Manage depletion: Build margin so you have something to give.

Your Action Steps

This week: Notice when you're present and when you're just nearby. What's the difference?

This month: Eliminate one thing that steals presence from your family.

This quarter: Ask your wife and kids if they feel you're present. Listen to the answer.