Setting the Example

Children learn far more from what they see than from what they're told. They're watching how you treat their mother, how you handle frustration, how you spend your time, how you talk about your work, how you respond when things go wrong. They're absorbing an entire way of being a man. The question isn't whether you're setting an example. You are. The question is what example you're setting.

This can be sobering or inspiring, depending on where you are. Either way, it's true: they're watching, and they're learning.

What They're Learning From You

How to treat a woman: Your marriage is their first and most influential model.

How to handle emotions: Do you suppress, explode, or process?

What matters: Your priorities speak louder than your words.

How to fail: Do you blame, hide, or own it and learn?

What a man does: Work ethic, integrity, how you serve others.

You're always teaching, whether you mean to or not. Every interaction with your wife while kids are watching, every response to difficulty, every choice about how to spend your time—it's all curriculum in the class your children are taking called "How to Be an Adult."

Areas to Consider

• How you speak to and about their mother
• Your relationship with technology and screens
• How you spend your free time
• Your work ethic and integrity
• How you handle conflict and stress
• Your faith practices
• How you treat people outside the family

Growing Into the Example

You don't have to be perfect. In fact, watching you handle imperfection well is one of the most valuable things your kids can learn. What matters is that you're moving in the right direction, owning your failures, and getting back up. They need to see a man who's trying, not a man who pretends to be flawless.

Your Action Steps

This week: Ask yourself: If my kids become exactly like me, what would that look like?

This month: Identify one area where your example needs work. Start changing it.

This quarter: Have a conversation with your kids about values and why you live the way you do.