Teaching Values to Your Kids

You can tell your kids what to value all day long, but what they actually absorb is what they see you do. If you lecture about honesty but cheat on your taxes, they learn that honesty is just something you talk about. If you preach about kindness but treat the waiter poorly, they learn that kindness is optional. Values transfer through observation and experience, not speeches.

This puts tremendous responsibility on you as a father. You are the primary curriculum for your kids' character education.

How Values Actually Transfer

• Observation: They watch what you do, not just what you say
• Experience: Family culture shapes what feels normal
• Conversation: Explaining the "why" behind your choices
• Stories: Narratives that illustrate values in action
• Correction: Addressing behavior that violates values

Your kids won't remember your lectures. They'll remember how you treated their mother when you were frustrated, what you did when you found money that wasn't yours, and whether you kept your promises. That's the real teaching.

Values Worth Passing On

Integrity: Doing right when no one's watching.

Responsibility: Owning your choices and their consequences.

Courage: Doing hard things even when afraid.

Compassion: Caring about others' wellbeing.

Perseverance: Not giving up when things get hard.

Humility: Honest assessment of self, open to learning.

Practical Teaching

Use real-life moments as teaching opportunities. When something happens in the news, at school, or in the family, talk about it. "What would have been the right thing to do there?" "Why do you think he made that choice?" These conversations embed values in real situations, not abstract lessons.

Your Action Steps

This week: Identify the values you most want to pass on. Are you living them?

This month: Look for everyday moments to discuss values with your kids.

This quarter: Ask your kids what values they think are most important to your family.