Learning to Ask for Help

Most men struggle to ask for help. We're trained from childhood to be self-sufficient, to figure things out on our own, to not need anyone. Asking for help feels like admitting weakness, like failure to handle what a real man should handle.

This is a lie that keeps men stuck. Nobody becomes who they're meant to be alone. The strongest men know their limits and have the humility to get help when they need it. Refusing to ask doesn't make you strong; it just makes you stuck.

Why We Don't Ask

Pride: We should be able to handle this. Asking feels like admitting we can't.

Independence: Needing help feels like dependence, like losing autonomy.

Fear of judgment: What will people think? Will they see me as weak?

Fear of burden: I don't want to inconvenience anyone.

Not knowing how: We've never practiced. The skill never developed.

The man who refuses to ask for help isn't strong. He's stubborn. And his stubbornness keeps him and everyone around him stuck with problems that could have been solved.

What Help Looks Like

• Counseling: Professional help for mental health, marriage, or personal growth
• Mentoring: Wisdom from someone further down the road
• Accountability: Someone to help you stay on track
• Practical help: Asking for assistance with tasks or projects
• Your wife: Letting her in on what you're struggling with

Learning to Ask

Start small: Practice asking for help with minor things. Build the muscle.

Be specific: Vague requests are hard to respond to. Know what you need.

Accept it graciously: When help is offered, take it. Don't immediately try to reciprocate.

Offer help to others: Sometimes being willing to receive starts with being willing to give.

Your Action Steps

This week: Identify one thing you've been trying to handle alone that you need help with.

This month: Ask for help with it. Actually say the words.

This quarter: If there's something significant you've been avoiding, like counseling, make the call.