Dating Your Wife

Remember how you pursued her before marriage? The thought you put into dates. The effort to impress her. The anticipation of time together. For most men, that energy fades once the ring is on. Life gets busy. She's not going anywhere. The pursuit stops.

This is a mistake. Your wife still needs to be pursued. She needs to feel chosen, desired, and worth the effort. Dating your wife keeps the marriage alive in ways that sharing a house and responsibilities never will.

Why It Matters

She needs to feel chosen: Just because she married you doesn't mean she stopped needing to feel wanted. Pursuit communicates desire.

Connection requires time: You can't maintain intimacy without dedicated time together. Date nights create that space.

It breaks routine: Marriage can become all logistics and responsibilities. Dating reminds you why you're doing all this together.

It models something: Your kids see how you treat their mom. Show them what pursuit looks like.

If you stopped pursuing her after the wedding, she's living with a man who won her and then quit trying. That's not the husband she signed up for.

What Gets in the Way

• Kids: Childcare is real, but couples who prioritize dates find ways to make it work.
• Money: Dates don't have to be expensive. A walk in the park counts.
• Time: You make time for what you prioritize. This should be a priority.
• Exhaustion: Tired is real, but the alternative is drifting apart.

How to Date Her Well

Plan it: Don't ask "What do you want to do?" Plan something. Take initiative.

Make it regular: Weekly is ideal. Minimum monthly. Put it on the calendar and protect it.

Be present: Phone away. Work off the table. Actually focus on her.

Variety: Don't just do dinner every time. Try new things. Be creative.

Remember what she likes: Pay attention to things she enjoys. Plan dates around those.

Your Action Steps

This week: Plan a date. Not dinner and a movie. Something thoughtful. Take initiative.

This month: Establish a regular date rhythm. Weekly or biweekly. Protect it.

This quarter: Plan something bigger. A weekend away, a special experience. Something she'll remember.