Marriage Priorities

Most men would say their marriage is a top priority. But if you looked at their calendar and spending, you'd see a different story. Work meetings always make the cut. Date nights get postponed. Golf with the guys is scheduled. Time for deep conversation with your wife? Whenever there's time, which is never.

What you actually prioritize is revealed by what you protect. If your marriage gets whatever time and energy is left over, it's not really a priority. It's just something you say is important.

Signs Marriage Isn't Actually Prioritized

• Work regularly wins when it competes with couple time
• You give your best energy elsewhere and leftovers to her
• Date nights happen rarely or not at all
• You're more attentive to your phone than to her
• Kids' activities crowd out time for just the two of you
• When you're home, you're not really present

You say your marriage matters, but the proof is in the calendar. What gets scheduled gets done. If she only gets your leftover time and energy, she knows where she really ranks.

Ordering Your Priorities

For the Christian man, a healthy order of priorities looks something like this: God first, marriage second, family third, work fourth, everything else after. This doesn't mean spending more hours in church than with your wife. It means your relationship with God shapes everything, including how you treat your marriage. And it means your wife comes before your kids, your career, your hobbies, and your friends.

Making Marriage a Real Priority

Schedule it: Put time for her on the calendar like any important meeting.

Protect it: Say no to things that crowd out couple time.

Give first energy: Don't save her for when you're depleted.

Be present: When you're with her, be with her.

Your Action Steps

This week: Audit your calendar. How much time is actually scheduled for your marriage?

This month: Schedule weekly time together that's protected from interruption.

This quarter: Evaluate what's crowding your marriage out and make adjustments.