Seasons of Marriage

Marriages go through predictable seasons, each with its own challenges and opportunities. Understanding what's normal for each season helps you avoid thinking something is wrong when it's actually just different. The marriage you have at year two isn't the same as year twenty, and that's okay.

The couples who make it long-term aren't the ones who avoid difficulty. They're the ones who adapt as seasons change.

The Early Years

The honeymoon phase eventually ends, and you discover who you actually married. You're negotiating how to share a life: money, space, habits, expectations. This is the season of adjustment, of learning to be "us" instead of just two individuals.

Challenge: Disappointment when reality doesn't match fantasy.

Opportunity: Building patterns that will serve you for decades.

The Parenting Years

Kids change everything. Your time, energy, and attention get redirected. The marriage can get lost in the chaos of raising children. Many couples drift during this season, pouring everything into kids and leaving nothing for each other.

Challenge: Maintaining connection when everything else demands attention.

Opportunity: Building a team, partnering through difficulty.

The couples who neglect their marriage during the parenting years often wake up when the kids leave with nothing left between them. Protect the marriage even when parenting demands so much.

The Middle Years

Careers peak, kids need less hands-on time, but other pressures emerge. Aging parents, health concerns, midlife questions. Some couples rediscover each other here. Others realize they've become strangers.

Challenge: Avoiding drift after years of routine.

Opportunity: Deepening intimacy with more time available.

The Later Years

Empty nest. Retirement. More time together than you've had in decades. Health becomes central. This season can be the richest of all if you've invested well along the way.

Challenge: Reinventing the relationship for a new stage.

Opportunity: Reaping the harvest of years of investment.

Your Action Steps

This week: Identify what season you're in. What are its specific challenges?

This month: Talk with your wife about how to navigate this season well together.

This quarter: Make intentional adjustments for your current season's needs.