Respect in Marriage

Men need respect. It's not just a preference; it's a deep need. Feeling disrespected by your wife cuts at something central to who you are. But here's the thing: she needs respect too. And the way you treat her directly affects whether she's able to give you what you need.

Demanding respect rarely produces it. Earning respect through consistent character and loving leadership does. If you want to be respected, become someone worthy of respect.

What Respect Looks Like

How you speak: Tone matters. Condescension, mockery, and harsh words communicate disrespect.

How you listen: Actually hearing her, valuing her perspective, taking her thoughts seriously.

How you make decisions: Including her, considering her input, not unilaterally deciding things that affect both of you.

How you speak about her: To friends, to family, in public. Never mocking or belittling.

You can't treat your wife with disrespect and then complain that she doesn't respect you. Respect breeds respect. What you sow, you reap.

When You Feel Disrespected

If your wife is treating you disrespectfully, you have legitimate cause to address it. But address it directly and clearly, not through retaliation or withdrawal. "When you speak to me that way, I feel disrespected" is different than matching her tone or punishing with silence.

Also worth asking: Is there anything you're doing that's contributing to the dynamic? Sometimes disrespect is a response to something real. That doesn't excuse it, but understanding it helps.

Building Mutual Respect

• Be the kind of man who deserves respect: integrity, follow-through, character
• Treat her with respect consistently, even when you're frustrated
• Address disrespect directly when it happens, not through retaliation
• Model what you want to receive
• Don't tolerate contempt from either direction

Your Action Steps

This week: Evaluate how you speak to your wife. Is respect evident in your tone?

This month: If there's a pattern of disrespect in either direction, address it directly in a calm conversation.

This quarter: Ask her where she feels disrespected by you. Listen without defending.