Understanding Depression in Men

Depression in men often doesn't look like sadness. It looks like irritability, withdrawal, overworking, or risk-taking. Many men experience depression without recognizing it because their symptoms don't match the stereotype.

This article is educational. Depression is a serious condition that benefits from professional support. If you recognize these patterns in yourself, please talk to a doctor or counselor.

How Depression Shows Up in Men

Anger and irritability: Instead of sadness, you feel constant frustration. Small things trigger big reactions. You don't know why you're so angry all the time.

Physical complaints: Headaches, back pain, digestive problems, fatigue. Your body carries what your mind won't express.

Isolation: Pulling away from family and friends. Not wanting to be around people. Spending more time alone.

Risky behavior: Driving too fast, drinking more, making impulsive decisions. Sometimes men try to feel something by doing dangerous things.

Overworking: Burying yourself in work to avoid what's inside. If you stay busy enough, you don't have to feel.

Depression is not weakness or a character flaw. It's a condition that affects the brain and body. Recognizing it takes courage. Getting help takes strength.

Common Signs

• Persistent sad or empty feelings, or no feelings at all
• Loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy
• Changes in sleep, too much or too little
• Changes in appetite or weight
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
• Thoughts of death or not wanting to be here

Why Men Don't Get Help

Men are taught to be strong, to handle things themselves, to push through. Admitting you're struggling feels like failure. Asking for help feels like weakness. So men suffer in silence while telling everyone they're fine.

But hiding it doesn't make it go away. It often makes it worse. And the people who love you know something's wrong even if you won't name it.

In Your Marriage

Depression affects your marriage whether you acknowledge it or not. Your withdrawal leaves your wife feeling alone. Your irritability creates constant tension. Your inability to engage makes her wonder what she did wrong. She can't fix what you won't face.

Letting her in, naming what's happening, doesn't burden her. It gives her something real to respond to instead of guessing what's wrong.

Getting Help

Talk to someone: A doctor, a counselor, a pastor. Start somewhere. You don't have to figure this out alone.

Physical care: Exercise, sleep, nutrition all affect mood. They're not a cure, but they support recovery.

Professional support: Effective approaches exist, including counseling and sometimes medication. A professional can help determine what's right for you.

Community: Isolation makes depression worse. Stay connected to people, even when you don't feel like it.

If You're in Crisis

If you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, please reach out immediately. Call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. Talk to someone you trust. Go to an emergency room. Your life matters.

Your Action Steps

This week: Be honest with yourself. How many of these signs do you recognize? Write them down.

This month: Make an appointment with your doctor or a counselor. Take the first step toward getting help.

This quarter: Follow through with whatever support you need. Depression responds to treatment. Things can get better.