Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

When your brain perceives danger, it doesn't wait for your conscious mind to decide what to do. Your autonomic nervous system takes over, triggering one of four automatic responses. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, these responses evolved to keep us alive—but in modern life, they often activate in situations that aren't actually life-threatening.

The Fight Response

Fight is the aggressive response to threat. Your body prepares for combat: adrenaline surges, muscles tense, focus narrows. In modern life, fight might look like anger outbursts, arguing, criticizing, or becoming controlling when stressed.

Signs of a fight response: clenched jaw, raised voice, aggressive posture, desire to confront or attack.

The Flight Response

Flight is the escape response. Your body prepares to run: heart rate increases, breathing quickens, attention shifts to exit routes. In modern life, flight might look like avoiding difficult conversations, staying busy to avoid feelings, or physically leaving when things get intense.

Signs of a flight response: restlessness, inability to sit still, urge to leave, anxious energy.

The Freeze Response

Freeze is the shutdown response. When fight and flight aren't options, the nervous system immobilizes. In modern life, freeze might look like going blank during conflict, feeling unable to speak, dissociating, or feeling paralyzed when action is needed.

Signs of a freeze response: feeling stuck, numbness, brain fog, difficulty thinking or moving.

The Fawn Response

Fawn is the appeasement response—often developed in environments where fight, flight, and freeze weren't safe options. The strategy: neutralize the threat by pleasing it. In modern life, fawn looks like people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, abandoning your own needs to keep others happy, and losing yourself in relationships.

Signs of a fawn response: automatic agreeableness, difficulty with boundaries, prioritizing others' comfort over your own safety.

Your Stress Signature

Most people have a default response—a pattern they fall into most readily. Understanding your stress signature helps you recognize when you're activated and gives you the chance to choose a different response.

Your stress response isn't a character flaw. It's a survival strategy that developed for good reasons. But strategies that helped you survive childhood may not serve you in adult relationships.