Communication

Passive Aggressive Behavior

When anger goes underground.

Passive aggression is indirect expression of hostility. Instead of saying "I'm angry," the person expresses it through sarcasm, silent treatment, procrastination, or subtle sabotage. According to the American Psychological Association, it typically develops when direct expression of anger wasn't safe.

Signs of Passive Aggressive Behavior

  • Sarcasm disguised as humor
  • Silent treatment
  • Procrastination on requests
  • "Forgetting" commitments
  • Backhanded compliments
  • Sulking instead of discussing
  • Deliberate inefficiency
  • Saying "fine" when it's clearly not

Why People Become Passive Aggressive

Passive aggression often develops when direct anger expression was punished, dismissed, or dangerous in childhood. The person learned that it's not safe to be direct—but the anger doesn't disappear. It just goes underground.

Breaking the Pattern

  • Recognize the pattern in yourself
  • Practice direct communication in low-stakes situations
  • Learn that conflict doesn't have to be dangerous
  • Address resentments before they build
  • Work on underlying anger and fear

Related Articles

→ Communication Styles → Anger Management → Stonewalling → Setting Boundaries

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